My professional life as a youth minister and more recently here at the YMCA has been devoted to serving, growing, and leading teens. Teens are a special calling, a special cross section of our population, a special challenge, and a special reward. I know that many of you out there are commited to the same duty and I commend you for that. You will probably never know the impact that you have had on these young lives until you reach the other side of eternity. I also know that many of you would rather get poked in the eye with a hot stick than work with young people. That is ok too, as long as you are loving on and supporting those of us who are in the teen trenches.
My focus today is Adolescence and some information that I gleaned from the September/October 2007 issue of Youthworker Journal. [yeah I’m way behind on my magazines]
The magazine paints this picture of adolescence:
Adolescence is that difficult but all important in-between time that is supposed to help transform children into adults.
Along the way, young people experience rapid and sometimes radical change in their bodies, minds, and hearts. They become more independant from parents and sometimes fight with parents. They create new social networks. They devlop more individualized interest in pop culture. They begin to question the vaules and beliefs that they have received. They experience and sometimes experiment with their sexuality. And they try on a number of identities until they find one that seems to fit.
When all goes well, young people emerge from this turbulent period with a solid sense of who they are and what makes them unique and valuable. But for others, he problems experienced now can signal the beginning of a long and difficult journey.
Like I said, teens are a special calling. They need a navigator, a friend, a support system, a moral compass, and a mentor. I say this again just to say thanks to all of you who are striving to be these things and more for our youth. Anyway, back to the main idea.
To those who do not truly understand the dynamic between teens and youth workers, success is a masterfully drawn out program. The rest of us realize that the triumph lies in the relationship, not the program. We will let that be our best kept secret for the time being.
David Elkind is a man who understands the folly of overprogramming our children and teens. He has written a book called The Power of Play. In an interview with Ron Jackson of the Youthworker Journal he answers the question “Over the past two decades, children have lost twelve hours of free time a week, including eight hours of unstructured free play and outdoor activities. Why is play so important, and how can we reclaim this unstructured time?”
Some excerpts from his answer include:
"Play is our creative impulse, our need to adapt our world to ourselves; and we all need to do that. "
"Another function of play is to create new learning experiences. Children play, and they create new experiences they could not have in any other way. When preschool children play, they are learning about taking turns; but they are also learning about whether they are a leader or a follower, whether they are fast or slow, whether they are athletic or not. They are learning alot about themselves through self-created experiences in play. "
"…Through their own play adolescence also create thier own learning experiences. Even when the experiences are negative - for example, when they are being teased…play is always the creation of new experiences through activities. There are many things that children and adolescence can never learn unless they themselves are involved in the creation of those activities. "
"This is why self created activities are so important. This is also why children who are overprogrammed - so busy in one organized acitivity after another - don’t have time to engage and create those new rules. "
Elkind goes on to explain that one of the reasons we see bullying in schools is that young people have not had enough self-created experiences to develop the social skills to relate to one another. he points to binge drinking in college as resulting from the same phenomenon stating, “These kids have not had enough learning experiences with each other to know how to relate socially with one another.”
He wraps up his interview by saying:
"It is a healthy need and an important need. It can be abused and misused, but so can love and work. Play is an essential part of what it means to be a human being. and to the extent that we eliminate it is to the extent that we become more narrow people. "
So don’t take my humble word, listen to the voice of David Elkind, child pyshcologist. I’m not saying we need to do away with all of our precious programming, but what I am saying is let the teens play. Give them some unstructured time to relax, to grow, to enjoy being with each other. You may be doing more for them than you realize.
And while you are at it, meet up with a friend, grab your wife by the hand, or call for your dog and get out there and do a little playing yourself! It just might lead to a happier, healthier you.
And now you know what I know,
Jeremy
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